What our tone is not
Our tone is not arrogant or patronising. It is not dull, smug, overly official, dry, over-familiar, glib, loud, cheeky or disrespectful. When writing or speaking, we do not use jargon, ‘management-speak’, unnecessary abbreviations and acronyms, and we avoid complicated and wordy sentences.
This piece of writing, in a magazine aimed at international students interested in studying in the UK, is overly formal and out of touch with the audience it tries to talk to. Although aimed at students, the language is worthy, old fashioned and has nothing that really grabs your attention. It lacks energy and feels as though it has been laboriously created rather than naturally and enthusiastically developed. As a result it lacks credibility among its readers.
In this example, the writer adopts a very wordy, complicated way to say something that is probably quite simple. The language again is rather formal and would not feel natural if read out loud (a good way to test if your copy is on brand or not). The overly academic tone does not reflect the warm, enthusiastic and engaging tone that we want to demonstrate.
This piece of copy is trying to convey a very positive message, but due to a number of grammatical errors and the use of acronyms the message is not as strong as it could be. If copy is being written by colleagues whose first language is not English, it is strongly recommended that a native English language speaker proof reads the copy before it is signed off. Acronyms should be avoided if at all possible. If they are to be used they must be introduced in full first, to ensure they will be understood by all readers of the materials.